APPEARANCE: Looks can be deceiving

By Sharon Khoo

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7

What happens or comes to your mind when you meet someone? You will first notice their outward appearance right? How they appear in terms of their face, hair, physical state, dressing or mood. Whether they look happy, sad, tired or some other emotion.

That’s normal and what we naturally do when we meet anyone.

We check ourselves out in the mirror to make sure we are looking decent and fine before we step out of our home. But sometimes, on certain bad days, we might not even bear to take a look at ourselves, let alone care about our appearance in the mirror.

And when this happens, what do we do? Well, some of us would mask our true appearance. We hide under our made-up hair, fancy make up, a favorite cap, nice clothes or even force on a (fake) smile. Just to tell others or ourselves that we look or feel ok, even when we’re not. There are then some of us who would prefer to stay real, and let the truth about how we’re feeling or doing on the inside come out on our outside – like not caring anymore about what we wear or how we look, and just letting it be laid bare, moody vibes, being bed ridden, no make-up, bad hair day, zits and all (I know I have done this before)!

As the old saying goes, and like this picture and God Himself says in the bible verse above, looks can be deceiving; never judge a book by its cover (or appearance).

In the picture, the outward appearance of the tattooed man is causing the other men & lady to judge him wrongly even though he is actually telling Christ that his heart is His. This reiterates what God already knows and said in 1 Samuel 16:7 – God looks at the heart, not the outward appearance, as man sees.

God looks past our external façade, to what is deeper and behind the surface of our selves – our heart.

Why? Because that’s what matters. To Him and to us. In the 5 Circles, Appearance appears as a sector in the Physical circle. It is like the entrance or doorway into the sectors and circles deeper and below it: Mood, Love (Mind & Heart circles), and Spirit circle.

Whether it is yourself, your client, a family member or stranger, you can sometimes tell how a person’s mood is from their dressing, posture, facial or outward appearance. For example, a disheveled, worn out, unsmiling or tired appearance could indicate a sad, anxious, angry or low mood, where the person’s heart and spirit is definitely affected.

Or, conversely, someone smiling, and wearing colourful clothes could be in a joyful or positive mood.

And then, we can also have the situation with the picture above – someone appearing like a tough gangster or risqué individual on the outside, being earnestly in need of God on the inside of his mind, heart and spirit, where we don’t tangibly see it.

God doesn’t want us to judge anyone by their cover, looks or appearance, because its what’s inside the person that counts.

I’m reminded of a few clients I know, whom God brought my way to teach me about looking past their appearances, and into their heart. One of them was going through gender transitioning from being a female/tomboy to male. Covered in tattoos & piercings, looking very much like a guy almost from head to toe, my heart broke for her, as we built trust over time and she told me her story of what had been going on in her life as a child till her present state, which had ultimately caused her to choose to have her current physical appearance, and gender transitioning. Though she initially intimidated me (like that picture above) because of her outward appearance, I began to see what God saw – her heart and inner state of a precious and broken child in desperate need of safety, acceptance, love, trust, God’s healing and deliverance.

God knows the importance of looking past appearances, into the heart. To truly see, know, understand and love a person. 

His dear Son, our precious Saviour, identified with us all before we were at our worst –

Jesus was described in His appearance, mind, heart and spirit sectors as this, in Isaiah 53: 2-3:

“He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
    nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by mankind,
    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.”

To me, it’s almost as if God is saying “You would think that as the Almighty God, I should have made my Son like Me – gloriously glamorous, perfect everyday in His outward and inward state. But, the truth is, in your human eyes, my Son was not attractive nor desirable in His appearance. He was familiar with moods of sadness, grief and depression, from all the rejection, pain and suffering he bore from mankind. And in his heart and spirit, Jesus was despised, unloved and made to feel no worth or esteem. Crushed. … So He could be with you and you in Him, whenever you were ever feeling at your worst.”

Have you come across or known someone who has ever felt or been this way before?

… Jesus understands & identifies. Appearance, Mood, Mind, Heart & Spirit. God sees and knows.

And He bore it for us, with us. So that in our worst state possible, we wouldn’t be alone.

I’m grateful that for all our sakes, God never judges us based on our outward appearance, but our heart. And when our heart, mind and spirit is at home with Him, through Christ (like being at home position on the combi-shape), we will find what we need – acceptance, hope, salvation, empathy and understanding… the list goes on.

God wants our hearts, mood-mind and spirit to be at home with Christ. So that we can truly reflect Him in our outward appearance too.  Just like David whom God appointed to be king, we might even have favour with God. Because of our heart’s right posture with God, and the spiritual state of where it is at – not our outward appearance.

When the inside circles are right with God, the outer appearance and countenance of a person will reflect it. Likewise when it is not reflecting it.

Regardless of how we appear (and God still cares for this part of ourselves; He knows it can affect our mood, thoughts, heart and spirit), what’s more important to God is our heart.

Minding our heart, mind and spirit (which make up the ‘inner man’) is a part of our sanctification process. And as we also know, this process is a really long journey. Both for ourselves and anyone we serve and love, like our family members or clients.

So, while we are still on this long road, taking it one gracious step with Him at a time,

my question to you as a fellow brother or sister in Christ, is:

“How’s the appearance or state of your heart looking like today?

What might God be wanting to say to you about looking past your or someone’s outer appearance, and reflecting His heart?”

… God bless you.

And, from a heartfelt place of love and truth, God & I just want you to know, however you think you appear, You already are gorgeous to Him too!