Eva Yang

APPEARANCE: Looks can be deceiving

By Sharon Khoo

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7

What happens or comes to your mind when you meet someone? You will first notice their outward appearance right? How they appear in terms of their face, hair, physical state, dressing or mood. Whether they look happy, sad, tired or some other emotion.

That’s normal and what we naturally do when we meet anyone.

We check ourselves out in the mirror to make sure we are looking decent and fine before we step out of our home. But sometimes, on certain bad days, we might not even bear to take a look at ourselves, let alone care about our appearance in the mirror.

And when this happens, what do we do? Well, some of us would mask our true appearance. We hide under our made-up hair, fancy make up, a favorite cap, nice clothes or even force on a (fake) smile. Just to tell others or ourselves that we look or feel ok, even when we’re not. There are then some of us who would prefer to stay real, and let the truth about how we’re feeling or doing on the inside come out on our outside – like not caring anymore about what we wear or how we look, and just letting it be laid bare, moody vibes, being bed ridden, no make-up, bad hair day, zits and all (I know I have done this before)!

As the old saying goes, and like this picture and God Himself says in the bible verse above, looks can be deceiving; never judge a book by its cover (or appearance).

In the picture, the outward appearance of the tattooed man is causing the other men & lady to judge him wrongly even though he is actually telling Christ that his heart is His. This reiterates what God already knows and said in 1 Samuel 16:7 – God looks at the heart, not the outward appearance, as man sees.

God looks past our external façade, to what is deeper and behind the surface of our selves – our heart.

Why? Because that’s what matters. To Him and to us. In the 5 Circles, Appearance appears as a sector in the Physical circle. It is like the entrance or doorway into the sectors and circles deeper and below it: Mood, Love (Mind & Heart circles), and Spirit circle.

Whether it is yourself, your client, a family member or stranger, you can sometimes tell how a person’s mood is from their dressing, posture, facial or outward appearance. For example, a disheveled, worn out, unsmiling or tired appearance could indicate a sad, anxious, angry or low mood, where the person’s heart and spirit is definitely affected.

Or, conversely, someone smiling, and wearing colourful clothes could be in a joyful or positive mood.

And then, we can also have the situation with the picture above – someone appearing like a tough gangster or risqué individual on the outside, being earnestly in need of God on the inside of his mind, heart and spirit, where we don’t tangibly see it.

God doesn’t want us to judge anyone by their cover, looks or appearance, because its what’s inside the person that counts.

I’m reminded of a few clients I know, whom God brought my way to teach me about looking past their appearances, and into their heart. One of them was going through gender transitioning from being a female/tomboy to male. Covered in tattoos & piercings, looking very much like a guy almost from head to toe, my heart broke for her, as we built trust over time and she told me her story of what had been going on in her life as a child till her present state, which had ultimately caused her to choose to have her current physical appearance, and gender transitioning. Though she initially intimidated me (like that picture above) because of her outward appearance, I began to see what God saw – her heart and inner state of a precious and broken child in desperate need of safety, acceptance, love, trust, God’s healing and deliverance.

God knows the importance of looking past appearances, into the heart. To truly see, know, understand and love a person. 

His dear Son, our precious Saviour, identified with us all before we were at our worst –

Jesus was described in His appearance, mind, heart and spirit sectors as this, in Isaiah 53: 2-3:

“He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
    nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by mankind,
    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.”

To me, it’s almost as if God is saying “You would think that as the Almighty God, I should have made my Son like Me – gloriously glamorous, perfect everyday in His outward and inward state. But, the truth is, in your human eyes, my Son was not attractive nor desirable in His appearance. He was familiar with moods of sadness, grief and depression, from all the rejection, pain and suffering he bore from mankind. And in his heart and spirit, Jesus was despised, unloved and made to feel no worth or esteem. Crushed. … So He could be with you and you in Him, whenever you were ever feeling at your worst.”

Have you come across or known someone who has ever felt or been this way before?

… Jesus understands & identifies. Appearance, Mood, Mind, Heart & Spirit. God sees and knows.

And He bore it for us, with us. So that in our worst state possible, we wouldn’t be alone.

I’m grateful that for all our sakes, God never judges us based on our outward appearance, but our heart. And when our heart, mind and spirit is at home with Him, through Christ (like being at home position on the combi-shape), we will find what we need – acceptance, hope, salvation, empathy and understanding… the list goes on.

God wants our hearts, mood-mind and spirit to be at home with Christ. So that we can truly reflect Him in our outward appearance too.  Just like David whom God appointed to be king, we might even have favour with God. Because of our heart’s right posture with God, and the spiritual state of where it is at – not our outward appearance.

When the inside circles are right with God, the outer appearance and countenance of a person will reflect it. Likewise when it is not reflecting it.

Regardless of how we appear (and God still cares for this part of ourselves; He knows it can affect our mood, thoughts, heart and spirit), what’s more important to God is our heart.

Minding our heart, mind and spirit (which make up the ‘inner man’) is a part of our sanctification process. And as we also know, this process is a really long journey. Both for ourselves and anyone we serve and love, like our family members or clients.

So, while we are still on this long road, taking it one gracious step with Him at a time,

my question to you as a fellow brother or sister in Christ, is:

“How’s the appearance or state of your heart looking like today?

What might God be wanting to say to you about looking past your or someone’s outer appearance, and reflecting His heart?”

… God bless you.

And, from a heartfelt place of love and truth, God & I just want you to know, however you think you appear, You already are gorgeous to Him too!

TASK

By JP

If you were seeing a doctor, would you like one with a great attitude but lacks knowledge and not very skillful? Or would you prefer to see a doctor with a terrible attitude but has great knowledge and is very skillful? Of course, ideally it would be great to see a doctor who has a great attitude, skill and knowledge. Even better than that would be to see a doctor that has been transformed by Jesus Christ along with incredible attitude, skills and knowledge. In TASK, T-A-S-K refers to the Transformation, Attitude, Skill and Knowledge.

Sometimes I think that S (skill) and K (knowledge) is something I feel easier to work on. It’s more tangible, measurable and something I have more control over. I can set goals, monitor and see how I have increased my skills and knowledge. I can attend courses, read articles and maybe even find opportunities for me to practice some skills to help increase my knowledge and skills. Better yet I might even have opportunities to teach to solidify and grow my skills and knowledge. There’s always more knowledge to learn and new skills to attain.

• What skills and knowledge are you hoping to increase in 2025?
• What skills and knowledge have you learnt in the last few years?  

With A (attitude) I feel it’s more difficult to see how I have grown in these. My attitude can fluctuate and change in different circumstances along with my energy levels, my emotions and thoughts. Some days my attitude towards people or circumstances are kind, patient and God-centred and other days they are not so kind, not very patient and self-centred. The thing I find about attitude is that it is not as linear or easy to track compared to skills and knowledge. Generally with skills and knowledge, once you learn it, you might need to refresh every now and then, however with attitude, it needs a daily refreshing. How have my attitudes been God-centred or self-centred when I interact with my family, my colleagues, strangers, friends? Were there situations today that I was self-centred in my attitudes? I find that sometimes doing a daily check helps keep my attitude God-centred or at least aware of when I am God-centred and self-centred.

Daily Attitude check

1. How was my attitude towards people today (Including God, self, family, friends, colleagues and strangers)
2. How was my attitude towards today’s circumstances?
3. God, reveal to me if there were any selfish attitudes or attitudes that were not pleasing to you to today that I may confess, and refresh me with your spirit to have a God-centred attitude towards people or situations.

As with T (transformation), it’s similar to attitude in that it’s difficult to track and see where, when and what God has done in our lives unless we check it. By transformation, I am referring to the combination of our openness, surrender to God as well as God’s work in us. Similar to attitude, I find that since transformation is the work of God, our openness and surrender to him, it’s been helpful for me to evaluate my transformation by asking these three questions.

Regarding our transformation, we can do a daily reflection or dialogue with God and ask him these three questions

Daily Transformation reflection

When did I turn away from you (God) today?

Where were you (God) at work today?

When did I turn towards you (God) today?

The Transforming Power of The Cross

By Tsatsa Narantsatsral

The shape of the Cross illustrates the profound response from God to humanity—a response that remains constant, whether the recipient acknowledges it or not and it is the essence of spiritual transformation. Within the Christian Wholeness Framework (CWF), the Cross is central to the Response step. It has a dual placement: under the Square, illustrating our position in Christ, and at the centre of the Circles, representing the ongoing process of transformation in our hearts.

In addition to being a symbol of salvation, the cross represents the transformative journey from self-centeredness to God-centeredness. It invites us to consider: “What difference does Jesus make in my life?” This question lies at the heart of our reflection and practice as believers, shaping how we understand our relationship with God and His work in our lives.

The Cross has both vertical and horizontal dimensions that represent our spiritual position and practice. The vertical dimension illustrates our relationship with God—our standing in Christ as forgiven, redeemed, and reborn children of the Father. This position is unshakable, regardless of how we feel or behave. Through Jesus’ death and resurrection, we have been reconciled to God and placed into His family. Romans 3:23-24 reminds us, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” On the other hand, the horizontal aspect reflects our life in the world, lived out in relationships and daily actions. It acknowledges that while our position in Christ is secure, our lives may still reflect areas of self-centeredness, pride, and sin. Transformation occurs as we bring these areas to the Cross, receive God’s forgiveness, and realign ourselves to His purposes.

The shape of the Cross invites us to daily apply several truths about our relationship with God. First, His Person reminds us that the Trinity—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—reveals the fullness of God’s nature and love. Second, His Presence assures us that, by the Spirit, God dwells within us, communing with our spirit and transforming us from within. Third, His Placing of Us highlights that we are forgiven, born again, united with Christ, and indwelt by the Holy Spirit. Fourth, His Purposes for Us reveal that God calls us to intimacy with Him, to love others, to imitate Christ, and to join Him in His mission to the world. Finally, His Provisions for Us remind us that God equips us with unfailing love, forgiveness, freedom, fullness, and strength to fight the good fight.

The Spirit Circle corresponds to the ongoing work of transformation at the Cross. It reflects God’s unchanging response to the human heart, providing truths that remain constant regardless of our circumstances.

Unshakable Position in Christ

Our position in Christ is secure. As 2 Corinthians 5:17 declares, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” This truth applies even when we struggle with doubt, fear, or selfishness. Our identity as God’s beloved children remains unchanged.

God’s Presence Within Us

In our position of being born again, we have the abiding presence of the Holy Spirit. Revelation 21:3-4 promises, “God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.”

Living with Purpose

We are created for intimacy with Christ and called to imitate Him. As John 17:18 says, “As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world.” This purpose gives our lives meaning and direction.

Provisions for the Journey

God’s provisions enable us to live transformed lives:

• unFailing Love: God’s love replaces shame and brings intimacy with Him (Psalm 52:8, Romans 5:5).
• Forgiveness: Through the Cross, we are justified and freed from guilt (Romans 5:8-9, John 19:30).
• Freedom: In Christ, we are set free from sin and empowered by the Spirit (John 8:36, Galatians 5:22-23).
• Fullness: We are filled with Christ’s life and joy as we abide in Him (John 15:4, Colossians 2:10).

Fight a Good Fight: We are equipped to face challenges and grow in resilience (Ephesians 6:13, 1 Timothy 1:18).

journey of transformation involves moving from self-centeredness to God-centeredness through daily encounters with the Cross. The Combined shape of the Square and the Cross symbolises this process: as we bring our sin, pain, and brokenness to the foot of the Cross, we experience God’s grace and are restored to healthy, God-centered functioning.

This transformation is ongoing. The Holy Spirit continually illuminates areas of our lives that need to be surrendered to God—pride, self-righteousness, lack of faith. Each time we respond with repentance, we are renewed and realigned with God’s purposes. As 2 Corinthians 3:18 describes, “We are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory.”

Even in moments of failure, the Cross offers comfort and assurance. We fall no lower than the foot of the Cross, where God’s forgiveness and grace are always available. Romans 8:1-2 reassures us: “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”

Transformation is not merely a theoretical concept; it must be lived out daily. This practice involves surrendering to God, resisting temptation, and embracing His love and forgiveness. It is a journey marked by both challenges and joys, as we grow into Christlikeness and live out our faith in every aspect of life.

To share my own experience, the Cross at the centre of the Circles became the turning point in my journey of healing and transformation. For a long time, I searched for peace externally—in circumstances, relationships, and achievements—only to find myself restless and unfulfilled. True healing began when I experienced the fullness of God’s 5Ps—His Person, Presence, Provision, Placing, and Purpose—in the deepest part of my being. These truths touched every aspect of who I am—my social, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self—and began to heal me from the inside out.

This profound experience reshaped how I live out my faith. Each day, I aim to practice using the combined shape of the Cross and Square, sitting at the bottom right corner of the Square, which I now consider my spiritual home. It is here that I bring my weaknesses, self-centeredness, and vulnerabilities before God. As I rest in this place of surrender, I find His grace, love, and strength renewing me. This daily practice fuels my ongoing transformation and sanctification, drawing me closer to Christ and aligning my life with His purposes.

Reflection and Invitation

The shape of the Cross calls us to respond: How is God inviting you to bring areas of self-centeredness to the Cross today? Are there aspects of your life where you need to experience His forgiveness, freedom, or fullness? Take time to reflect on His provisions and promises, and invite the Holy Spirit to illuminate areas of transformation. As you journey with Him, remember: the Cross is not only a place of redemption but also a wellspring of ongoing renewal and grace.

The Shape of the Pyramid

By JP

The shape of the pyramid is about relationships and community. Right at the very beginning in the bible, God said, it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). He made us to be in relationship, with himself, with others and ourselves. We need other people. We were designed like this. When we look at the pyramid, we can see the four corners plus God. The pyramid shows us how can we show servant leadership through supporting ourselves, serve and link with others. It’s so important as we serve and lead to

The shape of the pyramid helps me to fulfil the 2^nd commandment, love your neighbour as yourself. The pyramid helps me to look after myself through finding supportive relationships such as: family and friends, local church (through church ministry and church community), to get a mentor (people helper), to be able to find people who can help me professionally when the need arises (e.g. Doctor, plumber, accountant, teacher etc). I’ve been moving countries every 2 years for the last 8 years. It’s always been a priority and a struggle to build and sustain my pyramid. For those who have been in one place for a long time, it might be a lot easier to find those supportive people in your life which I hope you do have them. They are so important for our self-care and wellbeing that we may be able to live long and fulfilling lives.

The role of supportive social relationships in our lives is so important. The research from Harvard University “have been seeking the key to a happy life since 1938, in the longest study into happiness ever conducted. After 85 years of research, they’ve concluded that it is our relationships with other people that give us the greatest happiness.” (Scientists found the key to a healthy, happy life: relationships | World Economic Forum)

It’s not just relationships with other people but it’s about quality of the relationship. The research continued saying “Regardless of their backgrounds, those with the strongest personal relationships were not only the happiest but also enjoyed the best overall health and lived longest.” Scientists found the key to a healthy, happy life: relationships | World Economic Forum

The shape of the pyramid also serves another purpose: serving and linking others together. I remember when I was younger, I was always serving people. This was something that through my family upbringing and my own experiences came naturally to me. However, when serving people, I wasn’t always good or natural at linking. I found the pyramid was profound in helping me to serve people holistically through linking with other people. It helps you not be the only person serving one person. It helps to have a team of people serving one person. It reminds of a how a medical or health team combine their different areas of expertise to help a person. Everyone needs their own pyramid. As we serve others, we can try to help the people we are serving build their own pyramids. It’s really tough when you’re serving a person all by yourself. It can be draining, tiring and lead to burnout. It’s been an incredible experience for me when serving as a team. It’s a lot harder, don’t get me wrong, but the joy and the harvest are multiplied.

Prose on Square

By Jenny Oh

The CWF Shape of the Square, conceptualized by John Warlow, provides a valuable framework for assessing one’s relationship with God. It prompts two critical questions: Am I God-centered or self-centered? Am I flourishing or submerged in suffering? While the model may appear simplistic, it offers a profound means of self-examination, encouraging honesty and awareness in our journey toward spiritual growth and wholeness in Christ.

The purpose of the Square is to facilitate understanding through assessment and reflection, as human beings do not always learn solely from their experiences but rather through thoughtful consideration of them. This is supported by leadership theories suggesting that individuals tend to judge themselves by their intentions and others by their actions. Such a tendency can obscure honest self-assessment, resulting in a skewed understanding of one’s spiritual position.

The Square invites us to listen attentively and still our minds, creating space for God’s voice to speak to us. It enables us to discern whether we are living in alignment with God’s purposes or being driven by self-centered motivations. Even in ministry, one might mistakenly believe they are God-centered simply because they are involved in “God’s work.” However, the Square challenges us to confront this presumption: Are we truly seeking God’s will, or are we merely acting according to our own desires and motivations?

At Oasis Christian Counseling Center, where I serve as Director, the CWF Shapes and Steps are integral to the training of our lay counselors. The first phase of this training focuses on personal application, helping individuals assess their own lives before counseling others. Many of our lay counselor trainees are pastors, Christian NGO leaders, seminarians, and others in Christian leadership. It is imperative that those who guide others first understand their own spiritual longings, patterns, and tendencies. If we live on the left side of the Square—self-centered—we become blind to God’s voice and, over time, may spiral into spiritual indifference. Conversely, for those committed to living a God-centered life, residing on the right side of the Square brings a deeper sense of communion with God, enabling greater clarity about one’s purpose and identity in Christ.

Since my conversion at the age of 18, my overriding desire has been to live according to God’s will. However, there have been seasons in which my ignorance, stubbornness, or fears have led me into self-centered behavior, causing me to slide toward the left side. Yet, my love for God ensures that I do not remain in that state. To those who are in Christ, there is an ongoing transformative process at work, reshaping our thoughts and actions. The Square serves as a mirror, providing us with a structured framework for regular self-examination within the rhythms of our spiritual discipline.

Living in a state of God-centered flourishing is the ideal toward which we strive. As new creations in Christ, we are empowered to live abundant lives. However, even in times of suffering, when we feel overwhelmed, we can rely on the countless promises of God’s presence and care. In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus invites us to lay our burdens upon Him, promising rest for the weary. While Jesus’ own burden was neither light nor easy, His finished work on the Cross enables us to carry the weight of our struggles through His grace and mercy, rather than through our own anxieties. He is with us; He is Emmanuel.

The concept of God-centered suffering is also significant. The book of Lamentations provides a vivid example of this, expressing profound grief over the destruction of Jerusalem. Yet, even in the midst of such sorrow, there is hope. The inclusion of suffering in the Square reflects the reality that the Christian life is not solely characterized by celebration and victory. In a world marked by injustice, poverty, and war, suffering is an inevitable part of life. However, as Romans 5:3-5 teaches, suffering can also be transformative, producing perseverance, character, and hope, moving us toward Him.

In counseling, the Square provides clients with a useful tool for self-awareness. It offers a simple, universal language through which they can articulate their current circumstances and spiritual state. Thus, the Square is placed within the “Understand” step. When individuals gain a clearer understanding of their identity in Christ and how God views them, they are more likely to experience true wholeness. As counselors and leaders, our role is to guide individuals toward this realization. Through the Square, we help them be in a position to go to God, allowing Him to make meaning of their circumstances. The Square also helps prepare clients for the “Respond” step, whether through the process of Trialogue or other tools.

In one of my couples counseling cases, Darot and Chantha (not their real names) sought help for marriage issues revolving around Darot’s gambling problem. They had been church friends as singles, got married in the church, and still attended the same church as both sides of their families. Chantha found out about Darot’s gambling problem ten years ago but couldn’t tell anyone, including their families. Recently, Chantha decided she could no longer cope with the struggle and sought help. They both loved the Lord and each other, but they allowed this issue to affect their relationship. At first, Darot was very silent, and I could sense from his posture as Chantha discussed his gambling problem that defensive reasoning was likely going through his mind. At some point, I introduced the Square and asked them where they thought they were in it. It wasn’t just Darot, but both of them were able to be honest about their situation, acknowledging that they were acting self-centered and suffering. Through this acknowledgment, the conversation shifted from accusing each other to desiring to hear from God and gain a God-centered understanding. Darot still had hard work ahead of him, in dealing with his gambling addiction, but it no longer took center stage in their relationship. Their primary desire became living a God-centered and flourishing life in Christ. They realized that no matter where they were in the quadrant of the Square, they could always return to the Cross. This was truly good news for them. In conclusion, the Square prompts us toward God-centeredness and reminds us that even when we don’t have complete understanding, it is in being God-centered, whether flourishing or suffering, that we have our being, and ultimately, there’s a confidence all will be well. I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to integrate the CWF Shapes into my ministry and personal life. These concepts have not only enriched my professional work but have also profoundly shaped my spiritual journey. The Square serves as a constant reminder of the importance of remaining God-centered, whether in seasons of flourishing or suffering, and continues to inspire growth and transformation both in my life and in the lives of those I serve.