The Triangle of Connection
Susanne Nikles
The triune loving Godhead decreed “Let us make man in our own image”. (Genesis 1;26) As the human race we were born out of the God who lives in constant love, relationship and attachment. The triangle draws us back to where we belong – to that loving relationship with God, ourselves and others. It reminds us of the purpose that we can be instrumental in others connecting or reconnecting to God.
But what does it mean to connect with God, ourselves and others?
An essential element is to let ourselves be wholly and fully loved by God. For me this has meant getting a growing picture of His endless grace-filled desire to be in relationship with me, no matter how I am. Ephesians 3: 18 & 19 describes the incredible dimensions of God’s love. When I was with a client in trialogue, she had a picture of God with His arms wide open, saying “I’m always here for you, you just have to turn to me”. That picture often reminds me of His constant invitation. And yet how often during a day in our stress or distress, do we turn more away from Him, rather than to Him? I have to admit that I often allow the uninvited guests of disappointment, frustrations, small griefs and losses, to initially push me away from, rather than towards those open welcoming arms.
My capacity to hear God’s whispers in the jostle and hustle of my daily life seems to grow when I am able to take longer times of resting in and delighting in His presence. I need to take intentional time to still the busyness of my mind, and my inner anxieties, and then I can feel that deep desire expressed by the psalmist (Psalm 27:4 ) to ‘gaze upon the beauty of the Lord’. I can hear his voice saying to me “Seek my face, and my heart says to You Your face Lord, will I seek”. (v 8). He knows everything about me, and everything I am going through as expressed in Hebrews. “It was essential that He be made like His brethren in every respect, in order that He might become a merciful High Priest”. (Hebrews 3 : 17). Because He Himself has suffered and been tempted, we can boldly come before the Throne of Grace to find help with every need (Hebrews 4: 15 & 16).
To know that He truly cares about the state of my heart, my soul and even my body, gives me encouragement and permission to connect with myself. Encouragement to breathe deeply and notice how I am really doing. And to accept, rather then judge, or blame myself – or deny what I don’t want to see! What a precious gift to know that whatever state I am in, I can bring myself back into those open welcoming arms of love.
With others: The triangle can represent the relationships within the trinity of attachment, love and connection, and this can be a guide for us to have life giving supportive relationships where we are truly known, with at least a few others. The value of having a few close reciprocal relationships has been scientifically shown to improve the length and quality of our lives. Jesus himself had special relationships with Peter, James and John, and invited them into the deeper places of His life, in the transfiguration on the Mount, and into the garden of Gethsemane.
It is from that life giving space of grace that we can then extend welcome and delight to those we encounter. To be truly present with another, even for a few minutes, can switch on the relational circuits in our brains. The triangle invites us to “Love one another as I have loved you”. (John 13: 34 – 35). My mother’s favourite verse was “We love because He first loved us”. (1 John 4:19). In her humble simple way, she was a living example of this in my life. Being truly loved by God and others allows us to pass that on to others.
And then we may have that privilege of being part of another’s journey towards, or back towards their Loving Heavenly Father. The third side of the triangle reminds us of the great commission “Go into all the world and make disciples”. My daily prayer is that today I may notice and take those opportunities to extend grace and bless others, that they may taste something of the goodness of God through me.
Reflect:
What spoke to your heart today as you read this?
How might you deepen that side of the triangle between you and God? Do you regularly take time to connect with yourself and bring all of you before our loving God?
How might you build life giving relationships in your own life? How might God be inviting you to give this to others?