Prose on Square

By Jenny Oh

The CWF Shape of the Square, conceptualized by John Warlow, provides a valuable framework for assessing one’s relationship with God. It prompts two critical questions: Am I God-centered or self-centered? Am I flourishing or submerged in suffering? While the model may appear simplistic, it offers a profound means of self-examination, encouraging honesty and awareness in our journey toward spiritual growth and wholeness in Christ.

The purpose of the Square is to facilitate understanding through assessment and reflection, as human beings do not always learn solely from their experiences but rather through thoughtful consideration of them. This is supported by leadership theories suggesting that individuals tend to judge themselves by their intentions and others by their actions. Such a tendency can obscure honest self-assessment, resulting in a skewed understanding of one’s spiritual position.

The Square invites us to listen attentively and still our minds, creating space for God’s voice to speak to us. It enables us to discern whether we are living in alignment with God’s purposes or being driven by self-centered motivations. Even in ministry, one might mistakenly believe they are God-centered simply because they are involved in “God’s work.” However, the Square challenges us to confront this presumption: Are we truly seeking God’s will, or are we merely acting according to our own desires and motivations?

At Oasis Christian Counseling Center, where I serve as Director, the CWF Shapes and Steps are integral to the training of our lay counselors. The first phase of this training focuses on personal application, helping individuals assess their own lives before counseling others. Many of our lay counselor trainees are pastors, Christian NGO leaders, seminarians, and others in Christian leadership. It is imperative that those who guide others first understand their own spiritual longings, patterns, and tendencies. If we live on the left side of the Square—self-centered—we become blind to God’s voice and, over time, may spiral into spiritual indifference. Conversely, for those committed to living a God-centered life, residing on the right side of the Square brings a deeper sense of communion with God, enabling greater clarity about one’s purpose and identity in Christ.

Since my conversion at the age of 18, my overriding desire has been to live according to God’s will. However, there have been seasons in which my ignorance, stubbornness, or fears have led me into self-centered behavior, causing me to slide toward the left side. Yet, my love for God ensures that I do not remain in that state. To those who are in Christ, there is an ongoing transformative process at work, reshaping our thoughts and actions. The Square serves as a mirror, providing us with a structured framework for regular self-examination within the rhythms of our spiritual discipline.

Living in a state of God-centered flourishing is the ideal toward which we strive. As new creations in Christ, we are empowered to live abundant lives. However, even in times of suffering, when we feel overwhelmed, we can rely on the countless promises of God’s presence and care. In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus invites us to lay our burdens upon Him, promising rest for the weary. While Jesus’ own burden was neither light nor easy, His finished work on the Cross enables us to carry the weight of our struggles through His grace and mercy, rather than through our own anxieties. He is with us; He is Emmanuel.

The concept of God-centered suffering is also significant. The book of Lamentations provides a vivid example of this, expressing profound grief over the destruction of Jerusalem. Yet, even in the midst of such sorrow, there is hope. The inclusion of suffering in the Square reflects the reality that the Christian life is not solely characterized by celebration and victory. In a world marked by injustice, poverty, and war, suffering is an inevitable part of life. However, as Romans 5:3-5 teaches, suffering can also be transformative, producing perseverance, character, and hope, moving us toward Him.

In counseling, the Square provides clients with a useful tool for self-awareness. It offers a simple, universal language through which they can articulate their current circumstances and spiritual state. Thus, the Square is placed within the “Understand” step. When individuals gain a clearer understanding of their identity in Christ and how God views them, they are more likely to experience true wholeness. As counselors and leaders, our role is to guide individuals toward this realization. Through the Square, we help them be in a position to go to God, allowing Him to make meaning of their circumstances. The Square also helps prepare clients for the “Respond” step, whether through the process of Trialogue or other tools.

In one of my couples counseling cases, Darot and Chantha (not their real names) sought help for marriage issues revolving around Darot’s gambling problem. They had been church friends as singles, got married in the church, and still attended the same church as both sides of their families. Chantha found out about Darot’s gambling problem ten years ago but couldn’t tell anyone, including their families. Recently, Chantha decided she could no longer cope with the struggle and sought help. They both loved the Lord and each other, but they allowed this issue to affect their relationship. At first, Darot was very silent, and I could sense from his posture as Chantha discussed his gambling problem that defensive reasoning was likely going through his mind. At some point, I introduced the Square and asked them where they thought they were in it. It wasn’t just Darot, but both of them were able to be honest about their situation, acknowledging that they were acting self-centered and suffering. Through this acknowledgment, the conversation shifted from accusing each other to desiring to hear from God and gain a God-centered understanding. Darot still had hard work ahead of him, in dealing with his gambling addiction, but it no longer took center stage in their relationship. Their primary desire became living a God-centered and flourishing life in Christ. They realized that no matter where they were in the quadrant of the Square, they could always return to the Cross. This was truly good news for them. In conclusion, the Square prompts us toward God-centeredness and reminds us that even when we don’t have complete understanding, it is in being God-centered, whether flourishing or suffering, that we have our being, and ultimately, there’s a confidence all will be well. I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to integrate the CWF Shapes into my ministry and personal life. These concepts have not only enriched my professional work but have also profoundly shaped my spiritual journey. The Square serves as a constant reminder of the importance of remaining God-centered, whether in seasons of flourishing or suffering, and continues to inspire growth and transformation both in my life and in the lives of those I serve.