Through the Lens of the Circles:
“God be the Center for “Who am I?”
By Sally Ladignon
The question of “Who am I?” seems a bit overwhelming to answer especially if there is nothing to anchor on. The 5 circles and its 25 sectors in the Understand Step of the Christian Wholeness Framework (CWF) provided the fitting answer to said question because it captured the Biblical anatomy of man. The circles give a map of “who am I?” as created in God’s image and likeness as shouted out in Psalm 139:23-24 which says,
“Ipraise you, for Iam fearfully and wonderfully made. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”
The truth that we are God’s masterpiece cannot be denied, but many might find it hard to believe especially that people are more prejudiced to define “who am I?” based on the triple A of false securities, which are appearance, achievement and authority. All these are temporal with no eternal attachment. The “who am I?” is more than our looks, accomplishments and influences.
I admired people like Drs. John Warlow and Arnold Lazaro who came up with their respective prodigious works on understanding and helping people. Dr. Warlow articulated the beauty and wisdom of the 5 circles with its 25 sectors for deep understanding of “who am I?” with emphasis on God as the center of our being. Likewise, Dr. Lazaro with his multimodal perspective used 7 considerations of assessment to understand and eventually plan for appropriate interventions in an abbreviated acronym of BASIC ID, which stands for Behavior, Affect, Sensation, Imagery, Cognition, Interpersonal factors, and Drug/Biological. These 7 elements (or sectors as called in CWF) represented just 3 circles (social, physical and mind). The 18 more sectors by Dr. Warlow will further draw out the missing puzzle pieces in the “who am I?”
I likened the 5 circles to an earphone when I listen to people’s narratives as they come for help. Their narratives are information-rich containing life themes revealing their conditions sector by sector in each circle. Sectors are like pieces of puzzle, which needed to securely fit to each other to paint a complete picture of “who am I?” promoting better understanding where one might be coming from.
May I introduce a young female adult who I called “Growing Little Girl” or GLG for short who I saw through the lens of the circles. She came for counseling because of a pressing concern. Life was difficult for her while growing up. Most of the time she is below the waterline navigating from left to right or right to left of the square. She is now 30 years old, working and living alone by herself for a long time. During our sessions I reflected back to GLG her narratives circle by circle which she appreciated and felt understood.
Social Circle
GLG and her boyfriend work in the same company as an office staff and a supervisor, respectively. Their relationship lasted for a year and was kept a secret from their co-workers as demanded by the guy until he finally broke up with her. This left her so devasted and heartbroken. She just cannot accept the break-up easily and shamelessly begged him to give their relationship a second chance. Annoyed by her persistence for a reconciliation, he thought of lodging a harassment complaint to local officials to prevent her from getting near him. This pained her more and felt so bad and rejected.
At work, she received a lot of disapproving feedback from supervisors and to compensate for (un)satisfactory performance, she worked extra hours not claiming for overtime pay. She also volunteered for additional work outside of her usual assignments to prove her worth in the company.
At early childhood, her mother left the family and eloped with another man. She and her younger brother were left under the care of their father and his female siblings who also have their own families to tend. Such early abandonment imprinted an empty core in her heart circle damaging the love (self-esteem) and truth (identity) sectors. She lived from one aunt to another when her father died while she was in elementary grade experiencing physical, emotional, verbal and mental abuse.
Physical Circle
By just looking at her appearance no one cannot suspect that she is actually below the waterline. She always put smiles on her face to hide whatever deep hurts are there. She blames herself a lot and harbor guilt feelings when several relationships failed. Because of the break-up she cannot sleep and eat well. Her bothering gastrointestinal issues worsened and needed medical attention from time to time. She also sought psychiatric help for her anxiety concerns. She cried a lot as she remembers how significant people abandoned her without proper closure.
Mind Circle
She lives in fear because of abandonment issues she experienced at home, schools, work and special relationships. Her fear of abandonment makes her anxious for losing someone she cares about. She felt betrayed by people who she thought would be there for her, but at the same time felt guilty for failing them to keep the relationship.
The recent break-up left her so devastated and heartbroken. She felt dead inside, struggled so much mentally and emotionally while wondering where her emotions are coming from which made her cry easily.
Her basic desire is to be helpful by pleasing people which end up abandoning herself of her own needs.
Heart Circle
She realized that people easily gave up on her and leave without reciprocating her need to be loved. She thought she is not enough and lack in many ways for people to appreciate and love her in return. She believed that she is not worth keeping that people will just dump her when they found out she is flawed.
The default message of her childhood that “it’s not okay to have her own needs” led her to repress her own needs and prioritize others’ needs losing her value and identity along the way. She centered more on others missing the triangle of relationship that is founded in God’s love so she can love God with all her heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30-31)
Spirit Circle
Starting to relate to Jesus as her personal Lord and Savior and not experiencing yet how she can cast her burden upon Him. Oftentimes, she needed to be facilitated to walk her journey and understand the transformation God is doing using her deep pains.
GLG’s journey will be marked by learning to uproot lies stemming from negative childhood experiences by entrenching God’s truth to live free from past wounds. Although this entails a crucial process, the goals and plans of interventions will be discussed and employ not only the 5 circles, but the entirety of CWF.
I am still a beginner and a trainee in terms of adapting CWF into my counseling practice but through supervision and collaboration with the LW community, GLG will discover and settled of “who she is” in God being her center.